Wedding Invite Etiquette

I don’t quite know how to feel about writing this as it’s in the heat of the moment and later on I may feel differently or feel like it’s not as big of a deal as I’m making it out to be right now.

This week we (my family and I) received the long awaited invites for my cousin’s wedding for 18th October 2018. At another cousin’s wedding earlier this year we had already found out this date but in October 2017 I had already made plans with Scott and friends to go to a stand-up comedy night in Belfast and we booked an overnight stay as well. This was for part of Scott’s birthday present.

So initially I had said that if we get invited I would try to make the church ceremony at least. Two wedding invites came this week – one invite was for Dad, Mum and me for the whole day and the second invite was addressed to my brother Lloyd.

Now at this stage, two people were left out. My sister Andrea and my boyfriend, of almost 10 years, Scott.

Background Information – My sister has special needs and doesn’t deal well with these types of events. Simply because she has no patience and attention span for all day events that don’t interest her. So naturally, unless it’s immediate family weddings or similar events, mum doesn’t bring her alone (unless she really wants to of course). But to leave her off the invite all together is pretty shitty.

At this point I’m a little bit more than peeved. Scott and I have been together for 9 years and 3 months, living together for 3 years and even though we may not be married or engaged we are long term.

Today, at my parents house, I couldn’t help myself and I opened my brother’s invite to see if he got the opportunity to bring a plus one. Turns out, Scott was included on Lloyd’s invite for them both to attend the evening reception after the meal. I’m a little bit appeased now. But still, not inviting my sister or giving me and Scott our own invite as a couple – personally I think this is the wrong move but then at the end of the day it is their wedding day and they can invite (or not invite) whoever they want. If it were me sending these invites, when it comes to family I would be inclined to think that it is wedding invite etiquette to invite the whole family household – i.e. if a family lives under the same roof then they should all get the same invite. My brother lives in his own house so it was fine for him to get his own invite.

I’d just love to hear other people’s point of view on this situation. Am I blowing this way out of proportion or would you share the same opinion as me on this?



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